So far the hardest thing about being a mom for the second time is not having to start over with breastfeeding, diapers, having a newborn who cries everytime you put her down (Ada’s only been not in someone’s arms probably for 2 hours of her five week life!) or any of the baby stuff. Its not even too overwhelming for me to finally get the baby napping and then the older one wakes up.
What is so hard right now is hearing my beautiful Azita, who is 2 and a half, crying through the baby monitor, “I want momma, I want momma” in her sweet little, child-like voice. It’s not whiny, or annoying. It just is.
And my husband’s voice is there, trying to soothe her.
“Momma’s with baby Ada. Momma will come to bed when baby Ada is happy.”
She keeps him up for over an hour some nights, whereas if I were there to cuddle her she’d likely be asleep in less than 30 minutes.
During the first two weeks of Ada’s life, she was sleeping well on my husband’s chest around Azita’s bedtime, and I could go spend some sweet time with Azita, reading a bedtime story and snuggling, and getting a much needed hour or two of sleep before Ada would want to nurse.
Well, that didn’t last! Now Ada’s fussiest time of day is between 8 p.m. and 1 a.m. My husband has to put Azi to bed, because Ada is quite loud and persistant in her crying, and will not be comforted by him.
It isn’t easy for him either, as he is somewhat helpless to give either kid what she wants: me.
So the hardest part of mothering two children for me is missing the first one.
I love my first little angel so much and miss spending time with her. Things that used to be burdens, such as her begging to read story after story in attempts to make bedtime last hours, and then snuggling so close I made sneaking away an art… now I would love to just go to bed with her and sleep the whole night through.
The first week, everytime my husband left to the store with Azita to give me time to rest with Ada, and she begged to stay with me, I would cry.
We’ve got a bond stronger than any human bond there is.
She was still nursing when I became pregnant. She’s been my constant companion for 2 and a half years. She’s my best bud and so much more.
Now, of course, I love my beautiful little Ada and really am enjoying the newbown stage this time. It’s great to have a second child and get to enjoy all the baby-ness without the overwhelmed daze I was in with Azita. I expect and hope for the same strong relationship that me and Azita share.
I just miss my time with my first little love. But I’m sure it’ll even out soon.
It helps that Azita loves Ada so much, and snuggles with me and holds her hand while she nurses. That really is priceless.