We decided to go to the beach this weekend. We haven’t gone out of town since Ada was about three months old.
The trip home from Raleigh, from the La Leche League NC Conference (which I really can’t believe I didnt’ blog about), took 3 hours instead of one and a half. Even leaving at the baby’s naptime didn’t help. She just kept screaming her little head off. We’d stop… nurse, walk, cuddle, do what we could to calm her down… but she wouldn’t sleep and so we kept putting her back in the carseat… drive ten more minutes and stop again.
I just can’t let a 3 month old child who has no concept of what a car is and why a carseat is vital to her life cry without at least trying to help her get through the trip.
Crying is her way of telling me she needs me.
So we’ve been wary of going out of town since then. I was still on dairy and wheat at the time though, and a lot of her carseat issues have considerably lessened since we’ve been nailing down those issues. Probably her little tummy hurts and she needs to be held to feel better.
The trip wasn’t really planned and we left at the last minute as it was. We left at about 10 p.m. Both kids were asleep and we made it there without them waking up. You have to drive through a whole lot of nothing to get to the beach the way we went, so I was very glad I didn’t have to get her out and nurse her or anything… I don’t even know where I would have stopped it was so foggy and dark.
Payman was asleep too and I was afraid of turning on the music in case it woke her up, so I just sang to myself to pass the time. It turns out that most of the songs I know all the words to by heart are from my younger days. I sang several Ani DiFranco tunes, No Doubt, Ben Folds, Etta James… even Alanis Morrisette.
We were too tired to drive Saturday night after they slept after a full day of pool, beach, aquarium. After a day like that I also wasn’t too sure Ada would sleep well in the car.
We made it home on Sunday okay. We only had to stop twice and made it only a little longer than a couple without kids would have!
It’s always struck me with Ada how Azita did so much better in the carseat because she was a thumb sucker. Ada won’t take anything but mama– no pacifier, no toy will appease her. It’s getting better but still, she is almost 7 months old now. Azita got over crying through car trips at three weeks.
It’s getting better because now most of the crying happens at night or when she is otherwise overtired. The past two nights she has just screamed on the way home from spending time with Payman’s parents. They are so overwhelming and exciting its hard to settle her down at their house.
And so she just cries. And its such a piercing scream. I don’t remember Azita sounding that way. Because she was happy in the carseat, she never really cried too much because I didn’t leave her in situations that she would be crying. In my experiance, most babies only cry because they have too. Ada only cries when she’s reacting to a food, too tired, or, of course, in the carseat.
But you can’t avoid carseats. It’s the only part of mothering in a natural way that can’t be fit into this modern world. I can shop, clean, play with Azita, whatever, and meet Ada’s needs. But not in the car.
It’s the modern contraption that isn’t compatible with not letting a baby cry. And I don’t let her cry as a general rule. I often stop, check the diaper, nurse, give her some love and smiles… reassurance. But on those days that you are only 5 minutes from and have already taken her out once, there is nothing left to do but let her cry for a minute while you get your car home!
I don’t know how anyone could let their kid cry to sleep, in their rooms. Ugh… I can barely even make it through car trips. I hope she gets over this soon! I did see a tooth coming in… maybe that’s why it’s been a tough week. At least the trip out of town wasn’t tough!