At times I’m not sure who is right, so to speak. I don’t know which kid to side with. And I know saying one is right or wrong or siding with one isn’t actually how I see it. It’s rarely that cut and dried, or parenting might be easier.
Ada is getting older and more assertive and sometimes uses words in the cutest way, and other times yells at Azita and gives me this indignant looks as if to say, “Please tame the wild beast Mom. I’m the baby. I get what I want.”
For instance, today they were playing in the tub and they love to have the faucet left dripping so that they can fill up their buckets and bowls and all. Side note: Toy stainless steel cooking sets make awesome bath toys– no icky plastic, and stainless steel doesn’t mold or rust.
Ada keeps shrieking because Azita is filling her bucket up and Ada wants to sit there for the entirety of the bath with her stainless steel salt shaker getting continually filled and pouring its water out the other end. It’s amazing the concentration babytoddlers have.
It’s only fair for Azita to have a turn too, but Ada is far from understand that.
Sometimes Azita is amazing and we don’t give her enough credit for how well she shares. We hold her to a high standard and I hope its no so high that one day it backfires and she rebels completely against us. That’s another story though.
Azita obviously wants a turn and Ada doesn’t understand and as a parent you get so tired of hearing the toddler yellshriek that you just tell the older one to “just give her what she wants.” And most of the time, little Azita the angel does.
I do try to tell her that I understand its tough having a baby around who doesn’t know how to share.
Another thing we’ve been doing these days is telling Azita to talk to Ada like she’s a person. It works well when it works. Basically, Azita might whine and cry when Ada snatches something, and we’ve told her that if she whines and cries (b/c its such a fakish cry) we can’t help her.
But if she chooses to talk to Ada like a person, so that Ada learns how to act nicely, and then comes to us, we can help her.
Ada snatches what Azita has.
Azita says: May I please have mine back?
If Ada gives it back, Azita says: Thank you for sharing (so that Ada starts to learn the meaning of the word).
If Ada gets that mischevious look and says “Uh-huh” — her favorite cute little word — Azita has then made the right choice on how to communicate and can come get me or Payman to either find Azita something else or help Ada understand that she needed to share.
I don’t know. Something like that.
I don’t know anything about this parenting stuff, but this works some times.